Keep Out

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Yellow H&M Suede Biker Jacket and Speckle Knit Sweater / FOREVERVANNY.com
Yellow H&M Suede Biker Jacket and Speckle Knit Sweater / FOREVERVANNY.comYellow H&M Suede Biker Jacket and Speckle Knit Sweater / FOREVERVANNY.comYellow H&M Suede Biker Jacket and Speckle Knit Sweater / FOREVERVANNY.comYellow H&M Suede Biker Jacket and Speckle Knit Sweater / FOREVERVANNY.com

I like to talk a lot - to myself mostly, but more than talking, I really like to observe. I like to watch the way people move their hands when they talk to me or with others. How many times they touch their hair between each time they look up or down. I sometimes count how many times someone blinks when they talk to me if I doze off, just enough. I think the act of observing tenderly is intimate as long as you keep a certain distance too...

If I could have a small unfurnished apartment with a linen duvet cover over a single mattress on the floor and maybe 4 or 5 pillows, I think that’d be ideal. I’d say to forget about the internet router but in a perfect world, I’d be able to use wifi to endlessly travel through cyberspace without being discoverable and reachable by anyone else. I’ve always been an observer, and always will.

I like to be alone and despite putting all these things out there - I'm not really looking for company. I've been thinking a lot about this space and what's this blog is for. Everyone asks me all somewhat the same questions or wonders about what I want out of my blog or social media account but honestly - not much. I've never been tempted for extra attention (obviously this doesn't apply to my bf or friends) and fame. As someone who gets mentally drained from going to one social gathering every month or so - I can only imagine how hard it is to feel obligated to be a sweetheart 24/7.

For the majority of our egotistic and exhibitionist generation - being different is a way to relate - but for me, it's a form of disassociation. As someone who still prefers long talks on the phone over any other sort of written ways of communication - writing and photos are a way for me to express myself without having ever really need to expect responses from. I miss the first few days when I decided to create a blog just to have a virtual journal for myself.

I guess at one point or another - I was actually looking for some sort of feedback and got disappointed in the lack of relevant responses. It made me unmotivated to share as often and questioned this whole space and myself as well. But thank god for the lack of noise (in forms of other's opinions or thoughts) I've come to realize how silly I was being and now I'm fine with people just keeping out of my space again.


Suede Biker Jacket: H&M (similar)
Top: United Arrows (similar and here)
Pants: GRLFRND Denim
Shoes: Acne Studios
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11

Photos by Shun S.