These are probably not the words you were expecting to read for someone’s internet birthday anecdote. And I think sharing your age’s number worth of lessons or whatever, is super lame.
I’m usually a headstrong person, but lately, I’ve just been so easily wavered by the not-so-nice thoughts floating in the back of my head. I’m no saint, by any means. I’ve been telling everyone that if there’s a heaven or hell, I’d probably find myself in the latter.
We all have our vices, and mine seems to be, grudge. It’s so goddamn hard for me to let things go, no matter how good I am at letting them be.
One of the biggest and last lessons I learned from my dad through his divorce with my mom is that you can’t expect to be able to change anyone, even for the better (because that better is only subjectively applicable to you). With that in mind, versus all of the fluffy things I used to really believe in pre-25, really confused the crap out of me. I still would like to believe that there are Naruto-s in the world.
It's so crazy that I no longer have an interest in fashion. I can barely describe what my style is anymore. And I don't even have an opinion on what looks good versus good enough to be seen in public. Meh.
Anyway, whenever I’m not feeling my best self, I always tend to do less and observe way more than I really need to. It’s the sociologist in me to diagnose, dissect, and find answers that can help me reason more so emotionally than logically. But, in the pinnacle age of the digital world, it all spirals back to social media, and internet celebrities that you just can’t help but compare yourself to. And that brings out a part of me that I really hate - because I can be so goddamn bitter.
I know, everyone says stuff like "no one is really sharing their struggles on their highlight reel" to make themselves feel better about the shit they're going through or justify their envy. But am I really the only person who hates thinking that way? It shouldn't comfort me any better knowing someone might be having it worse. That's just being an asshole.
These days, I'm living my best life. Or so it might seem. I am, I think. I can no longer tell what's great though because I feel like I've been way too spoiled. To the point where I'm even starting to get tired of myself for being so goddamn ungrateful for how little I actually do.
Does it count as a quart life crisis if you were already going through it before you turn 25?
Anyway, here's some things that went down this month that honestly, looking back, really put a big smile on my face despite how dark and irritated my thoughts internally might seem.
I’m usually a headstrong person, but lately, I’ve just been so easily wavered by the not-so-nice thoughts floating in the back of my head. I’m no saint, by any means. I’ve been telling everyone that if there’s a heaven or hell, I’d probably find myself in the latter.
We all have our vices, and mine seems to be, grudge. It’s so goddamn hard for me to let things go, no matter how good I am at letting them be.
One of the biggest and last lessons I learned from my dad through his divorce with my mom is that you can’t expect to be able to change anyone, even for the better (because that better is only subjectively applicable to you). With that in mind, versus all of the fluffy things I used to really believe in pre-25, really confused the crap out of me. I still would like to believe that there are Naruto-s in the world.
It's so crazy that I no longer have an interest in fashion. I can barely describe what my style is anymore. And I don't even have an opinion on what looks good versus good enough to be seen in public. Meh.
Anyway, whenever I’m not feeling my best self, I always tend to do less and observe way more than I really need to. It’s the sociologist in me to diagnose, dissect, and find answers that can help me reason more so emotionally than logically. But, in the pinnacle age of the digital world, it all spirals back to social media, and internet celebrities that you just can’t help but compare yourself to. And that brings out a part of me that I really hate - because I can be so goddamn bitter.
I know, everyone says stuff like "no one is really sharing their struggles on their highlight reel" to make themselves feel better about the shit they're going through or justify their envy. But am I really the only person who hates thinking that way? It shouldn't comfort me any better knowing someone might be having it worse. That's just being an asshole.
These days, I'm living my best life. Or so it might seem. I am, I think. I can no longer tell what's great though because I feel like I've been way too spoiled. To the point where I'm even starting to get tired of myself for being so goddamn ungrateful for how little I actually do.
Does it count as a quart life crisis if you were already going through it before you turn 25?
Anyway, here's some things that went down this month that honestly, looking back, really put a big smile on my face despite how dark and irritated my thoughts internally might seem.
Life
August 6, 2018
Where do I start. After countless trips to Japan and frantically freaking out 2x a year to meet at a completely new country with Shun to see each other for 5-10 days at a time. I can't believe we have the whole next year together, and in the same apartment too.
Although I have to say, moving into my very own apartment for the first time ever made me realized how expensive this whole process is (especially in Tokyo). Living at home for so long, I forgot that every little thing in a home costs money, a fridge, a towel, a sponge, a fork (or like 10 because we don't just have one), ect...
It's only been a full one month, but somehow it feels much longer.
Black Linen Dress: Snidel / Similar
Shoes: Ancient Greek Sandals
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini
Earrings: Majorica
Photo by Shun S.
Shoes: Ancient Greek Sandals
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini
Earrings: Majorica
Photo by Shun S.
Event
Summer Festival in Tokyo
August 11, 2018
August 11, 2018
"Yakatabune"
Earlier this year, I made my very first friend on my own in Tokyo. I told her I really wanted to attend one of Japan's summer festivals. Fast forward 5 months later, I'm in a yukata, eating sushi on a boat and watched some epic fireworks from the water in Odaiba.
That night we drank until 4am, and I could barely remember anything - but it was one of the best day I've had in awhile.
That night we drank until 4am, and I could barely remember anything - but it was one of the best day I've had in awhile.
Life
August 16, 2018
8/16 for as long as I can remember has always been filled surrounded by lots of people. It's weird to say but this year more than ever, it was nice to have it be a little quieter. Back home, mom would probably have dinner and a cake ready, and that's what Shun did. It was nice not to fuss about what to wear, where to go, who to see, and how can I combine groups of friends together to avoid getting fucked up too many times separately... haha. I don't know, is this a sign I'm getting old?
Fashion
August 19, 2018
Top: Free People, Similar
Floral Maxi Skirt: Ganni
Shoes: Common Project
Bag: J.W Anderson Pierce Velvet Mini
Self Portraits
Floral Maxi Skirt: Ganni
Shoes: Common Project
Bag: J.W Anderson Pierce Velvet Mini
Self Portraits
Event
Akeno Sunflower Festival
August 22, 2018
August 22, 2018
Top: Minkpink via Shopbop
Skirt: &OtherStories Denim Skirt
Shoes: Common Project
Bag: Chanel
Photo by Shun S.
Skirt: &OtherStories Denim Skirt
Shoes: Common Project
Bag: Chanel
Photo by Shun S.
Fashion
August 29, 2018
As if moving to Tokyo and turning 25 was not life changing enough, your girl also got to work on a special project with Shiseido's top brand Clé De Peau Beauté on something amazing too. Peep this space for a post coming soon.
Top: &OtherStories
Linen Blazer: Directourie
Pleated Skirt: Aritzia
Shoes: Common Project
Bag: Chanel
Earings: Shashi
Photo by Shun S.
Linen Blazer: Directourie
Pleated Skirt: Aritzia
Shoes: Common Project
Bag: Chanel
Earings: Shashi
Photo by Shun S.
Wearing
All pieces mentioned in this post
If you made it this far, thanks for reading and stopping by. Just out of curiosity... What were your thoughts at 25? Or, if you're not 25 yet, what/where do you see yourself doing when you turn 25?
