022018 / Love, Lust, and Lackluster

Monday, March 5, 2018

/ / /

NYFW Oversized Pants Streetstyle / FOREVERVANNY.com

It might not seem like it but I am as much as a hopeless romantic as any lunatics who you’ve seen in movies danced crazily in the rain and chased after departed buses you know they will not logically catch.

I’ve always had this inner calling to chase after ‘fashion’ despite not knowing what about it made me passionate. I loved learning the stories that clothes tell, not just by the people who wear it, but also by the people who design it.

My time with fashion hasn’t been long, but it sure does feels like ages. Especially after this NYFW season, I have never been surer of how unsure I feel about making this hobby of mine a job/career. I don’t know when I came to feel so let down by it, but it so might be just lust.

Oversized Coat: Maison Margiela / Farfetch
Sweater: Colette x F.A.M.T
Pants: Urban Outfitters
Belt: Madewell
Shoes: Common Projects
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini
Glasses: Vasuma Eyewear / Tictail

Self-portraits


Outfit
February 9, 2018
NYFW Suede Moto Jacket H&M Streetstyle / FOREVERVANNY.comNYFW Suede Moto Jacket H&M Streetstyle / FOREVERVANNY.com

I've been gravitating towards yellow a lot. It probably represents my craving for brighter days ahead.

As promised in January, I told myself I'd try to be more creatively independent this year - and self-portraiting have been really satisfying, to say the least. I don't even know why I've stopped in the first place. Maybe it's due to the bulky camera that I no longer can tolerate lugging around just so I can carelessly bang it up here and there.

Suede Moto Jacket: H&M
Sweater:United Arrows JP
Pants: Tularosa / Revolve
Shoes: Common Projects
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini
Bag Charm: Fendi

Self-portraits

Coveting
'Orange Crush'



Outfit
February 10, 2018
Monochromatic Red Streetstyle NYFW / FOREVERVANNY.comMonochromatic Red Streetstyle NYFW / FOREVERVANNY.comMonochromatic Red Streetstyle NYFW / FOREVERVANNY.com

My hair is up 90% of the time, but during fashion week, it's actually visible in photos. This fashion week, it was especially necessary that I kept it up. In the Airbnb that I stayed at - we had no hot water for 2 days straight, resulting in hair that dry shampoo couldn't even save (sorry Oribe).

Full disclosure also, that this outfit was loaned for NYFW (thanks, Tictail) - which I got to wear to Alexander Wang's last show's backstage in New York. For some reasons, I've always been afraid to wear red - it has nothing to do with what I think I'll look like, but more so to do with my own fear for the recollection of blood when I see this color in general. I wish my first thought would be of strawberries or red wine, but yeah - I did it though, with the help of some trusty old closet staples.

For most people who participate in fashion month, they probably have more than three outfits planned per day - because, options. But for me, I barely got to wear the one outfit I had in mind each day. I settled for a hoodie/crewneck sweater and sneakers after the 4th day. Oops.

Leather Jacket: deadwood
Sweater: Petite Studios (similar)
Dress: Dolores Haze
Shoes: Acne Studios
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini

Photos by Ryan C.

Fashion
NYFW Show Recaps FW18
Phillip Lim FW 18
Phillip Lim FW18 NYFW / FOREVERVANNY.com
If I told 18-year-old-self me, that she'd be sitting front row at Phillip Lim, Derek Lam, Brock Collection and perused backstage at Alexander Wang - she would probably cry tears of joy. Years ago when I created a blog right out of college, I figured - why not give it a shot to get my foot in the door. Who would have thought that one fashion corporate job later and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work under a high profile influencer that I'd be here today?

I still remember the first time I saved up for my Phillip Lim bag (it was a 'Pashli', that I use for pretty much all of my job interviews out of college). I graduated wearing a Derek Lam dress, that I still wear on summery occasions because asymmetric pleats will always be in style for me.

Brock Collection is a newer brand that I've been swooning over for many seasons previously and it was so dreamy to see the details backstage and on the runway. I loved that all of these shows pushed towards diversity on their runways and though each prominently featured warm tones, they were distinctly differentiated from one another (which I obviously expected no less of these designers).

It's these emotional attachments to fashion and the stories behind each design and purchases that I make that I can't seem to fathom how social media shapes the industry. Yes, there are pros and cons. But honestly, it's so rare to come across a fashion influencer who's actually invested in its deep-rooted history, and even inspirations.

Arguably, one can say that it doesn't matter how much someone knows about fashion to have influence/personal style - but I beg to differ. It's just illogical to me that someone who claims they love clothes and dressing up doesn't care more about what they put on their body beyond the brand name or label... Quite frankly, these are the so-call front row fashion bloggers/influencers that fail to acknowledge a designer's show notes that they either toss to the side or sit on top of and gets left behind as they rush out to the next show.

Thoughts/things like this deeply sadden me about the social media of fashion and working around too many of the same cases have mentally drained me.

So, I think I’m finally letting fashion go…

I’m not letting it go as in I’ve stopped loving it, but more so to see if it’ll come back to me or I’ll find my way back to it.



Derek Lam FW18
Derek Lam FW18 NYFW / FOREVERVANNY.com
Brock Collection FW 18/ Backstage
Brock Collection Backstage FW18 NYFW / FOREVERVANNY.comBrock Collection FW18 NYFW / FOREVERVANNY.com
I’ve learned these past couple years, that talent isn’t enough, and passion, too, is also not enough. But most of all, I’ve learned that working hard for the wrong thing also means it’s not worth it, at least for me.

I've lost the joy of having a purpose doing what I love - and I'm not exactly sure I can blame my experiences for that. Yes, although quite morally compromising at times, to weave words together for sponsored posts, and 'strategize' the best way to be authentic/organic due to it all being so carefully determined by how many 'likes' or ROI. I think about it all the time, how social media is slowly turning into a form of currency no different than Bitcoin, or anything else like it out there. We all like to think that the numbers don't matter, but deep down we all know they do.

It's amazing though, how many doors have opened for me because of social media, yet at the same time, how many it've shut as well because it opened my eyes to what some of these opportunities' realities are.


Travel
Old San Juan, PR


Girls fun in Old San Juan Puerto Rico / FOREVERVANNY.com
Leaving all of that heavy stuff behind, it was such a blessing to have this San Juan trip planned with my girl Christina for some fun in the sun. It's so crazy to think that a little over 4 years ago, we visited this little island with our significant other -- and now we're here together! We had the loveliest time just unwinding at the beautiful Hotel El Convento (where I napped several short, 15-min-naps, at a time at the rooftop pool and snuck back cheese and wine to our room to savor).

Despite all of the things that are taking place post-hurricane, the people are just as energetic as ever - and the vibe of this place is one of the most charming things about it. It's a balance between taking it slow but moving fast enough to keep up with the beat (almost like a salsa dance). And of course, you won't be able to keep your eyes off all of the colors of this place. How can you not smile with a series of rainbow houses painted 3 streets in a row?

Old San Juan PR Facade / FOREVERVANNY.com Old San Juan PR Facade / FOREVERVANNY.com
Old San Juan PR Facade / FOREVERVANNY.comPink Outfit in Old San Juan / FOREVERVANNY.com

Two days sure sounds short, but it definitely gave us a boost of energy that felt longer than a weekend. With all of the events taking a turn of its own, I'm looking forward to all that is to come.

Sweater: & Other Stories
Overalls Short: Urban Outfitters / Shopbop
Shoes: Common Projects
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini
Anklet: Cornelia Webb x Net-A-Porter

Photos by Christina L.

Added to Cart
Wardrobe Updates

As I'm starting to pack for Japan, and Spring in general, here are some of the pieces I've been keeping in my cart, waiting for the right sales to snatch them up.



With the ups and downs this month, and it being the month of love (Valentine's Day) I couldn't help but feel that it was fitting to share my loves, lusts, and that which have become lackluster to me. For now, I'm just really lost and confused and in a dire need of a clean slate somehow. With that thought in mind, there's no better way to refresh, than in a whole new city (but really, it's more like my second home now -- Tokyo) for the next few months.

March, here I come.