It might not seem like it but I am as much as a hopeless romantic as any lunatics who you’ve seen in movies danced crazily in the rain and chased after departed buses you know they will not logically catch.

I’ve always had this inner calling to chase after ‘fashion’ despite not knowing what about it made me passionate. I loved learning the stories that clothes tell, not just by the people who wear it, but also by the people who design it.

My time with fashion hasn’t been long, but it sure does feels like ages. Especially after this NYFW season, I have never been surer of how unsure I feel about making this hobby of mine a job/career. I don’t know when I came to feel so let down by it, but it so might be just lust.

Oversized Coat: Maison Margiela / Farfetch
Sweater: Colette x F.A.M.T
Pants: Urban Outfitters
Belt: Madewell
Shoes: Common Projects
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini
Glasses: Vasuma Eyewear / Tictail

Self-portraits

Outfit

February 9, 2018

I've been gravitating towards yellow a lot. It probably represents my craving for brighter days ahead.

As promised in January, I told myself I'd try to be more creatively independent this year - and self-portraiting have been really satisfying, to say the least. I don't even know why I've stopped in the first place. Maybe it's due to the bulky camera that I no longer can tolerate lugging around just so I can carelessly bang it up here and there.

Suede Moto Jacket: H&M
Sweater:United Arrows JP
Pants: Tularosa / Revolve
Shoes: Common Projects
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini
Bag Charm: Fendi

Self-portraits

Coveting

'Orange Crush'

Outfit

February 10, 2018

My hair is up 90% of the time, but during fashion week, it's actually visible in photos. This fashion week, it was especially necessary that I kept it up. In the Airbnb that I stayed at - we had no hot water for 2 days straight, resulting in hair that dry shampoo couldn't even save (sorry Oribe).

Full disclosure also, that this outfit was loaned for NYFW (thanks, Tictail) - which I got to wear to Alexander Wang's last show's backstage in New York. For some reasons, I've always been afraid to wear red - it has nothing to do with what I think I'll look like, but more so to do with my own fear for the recollection of blood when I see this color in general. I wish my first thought would be of strawberries or red wine, but yeah - I did it though, with the help of some trusty old closet staples.

For most people who participate in fashion month, they probably have more than three outfits planned per day - because, options. But for me, I barely got to wear the one outfit I had in mind each day. I settled for a hoodie/crewneck sweater and sneakers after the 4th day. Oops.

Leather Jacket: deadwood
Sweater: Petite Studios (similar)
Dress: Dolores Haze
Shoes: Acne Studios
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini

Photos by Ryan C.

Fashion

NYFW Show Recaps FW18

Phillip Lim FW 18

If I told 18-year-old-self me, that she'd be sitting front row at Phillip Lim, Derek Lam, Brock Collection and perused backstage at Alexander Wang - she would probably cry tears of joy. Years ago when I created a blog right out of college, I figured - why not give it a shot to get my foot in the door. Who would have thought that one fashion corporate job later and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work under a high profile influencer that I'd be here today?

I still remember the first time I saved up for my Phillip Lim bag (it was a 'Pashli', that I use for pretty much all of my job interviews out of college). I graduated wearing a Derek Lam dress, that I still wear on summery occasions because asymmetric pleats will always be in style for me.

Brock Collection is a newer brand that I've been swooning over for many seasons previously and it was so dreamy to see the details backstage and on the runway. I loved that all of these shows pushed towards diversity on their runways and though each prominently featured warm tones, they were distinctly differentiated from one another (which I obviously expected no less of these designers).

It's these emotional attachments to fashion and the stories behind each design and purchases that I make that I can't seem to fathom how social media shapes the industry. Yes, there are pros and cons. But honestly, it's so rare to come across a fashion influencer who's actually invested in its deep-rooted history, and even inspirations.

Arguably, one can say that it doesn't matter how much someone knows about fashion to have influence/personal style - but I beg to differ. It's just illogical to me that someone who claims they love clothes and dressing up doesn't care more about what they put on their body beyond the brand name or label... Quite frankly, these are the so-call front row fashion bloggers/influencers that fail to acknowledge a designer's show notes that they either toss to the side or sit on top of and gets left behind as they rush out to the next show.

Thoughts/things like this deeply sadden me about the social media of fashion and working around too many of the same cases have mentally drained me.

So, I think I’m finally letting fashion go…

I’m not letting it go as in I’ve stopped loving it, but more so to see if it’ll come back to me or I’ll find my way back to it.

Derek Lam FW18

Brock Collection FW 18/ Backstage

I’ve learned these past couple years, that talent isn’t enough, and passion, too, is also not enough. But most of all, I’ve learned that working hard for the wrong thing also means it’s not worth it, at least for me.

I've lost the joy of having a purpose doing what I love - and I'm not exactly sure I can blame my experiences for that. Yes, although quite morally compromising at times, to weave words together for sponsored posts, and 'strategize' the best way to be authentic/organic due to it all being so carefully determined by how many 'likes' or ROI. I think about it all the time, how social media is slowly turning into a form of currency no different than Bitcoin, or anything else like it out there. We all like to think that the numbers don't matter, but deep down we all know they do.

It's amazing though, how many doors have opened for me because of social media, yet at the same time, how many it've shut as well because it opened my eyes to what some of these opportunities' realities are.

Travel

Old San Juan, PR

Leaving all of that heavy stuff behind, it was such a blessing to have this San Juan trip planned with my girl Christina for some fun in the sun. It's so crazy to think that a little over 4 years ago, we visited this little island with our significant other -- and now we're here together! We had the loveliest time just unwinding at the beautiful Hotel El Convento (where I napped several short, 15-min-naps, at a time at the rooftop pool and snuck back cheese and wine to our room to savor).

Despite all of the things that are taking place post-hurricane, the people are just as energetic as ever - and the vibe of this place is one of the most charming things about it. It's a balance between taking it slow but moving fast enough to keep up with the beat (almost like a salsa dance). And of course, you won't be able to keep your eyes off all of the colors of this place. How can you not smile with a series of rainbow houses painted 3 streets in a row?

Two days sure sounds short, but it definitely gave us a boost of energy that felt longer than a weekend. With all of the events taking a turn of its own, I'm looking forward to all that is to come.

Sweater: & Other Stories
Overalls Short: Urban Outfitters / Shopbop
Shoes: Common Projects
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini
Anklet: Cornelia Webb x Net-A-Porter

Photos by Christina L.

Added to Cart

Wardrobe Updates

As I'm starting to pack for Japan, and Spring in general, here are some of the pieces I've been keeping in my cart, waiting for the right sales to snatch them up.

With the ups and downs this month, and it being the month of love (Valentine's Day) I couldn't help but feel that it was fitting to share my loves, lusts, and that which have become lackluster to me. For now, I'm just really lost and confused and in a dire need of a clean slate somehow. With that thought in mind, there's no better way to refresh, than in a whole new city (but really, it's more like my second home now -- Tokyo) for the next few months.

March, here I come.

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012018 / Welcome To My Space Journal

For as long as I could remember, what I considered a ‘complete’ blog post consisted of the usual 5-6 images and a blurb. Of those images, one would be a full-body horizontal, vertical, a close-up shot of some detail about my outfit, and if I’m lucky, there’ll be a really good portrait of myself (totally irrelevant to my outfit) - honestly, you know exactly what I'm talking about. The written portion has generally been something I've taken more seriously than the visual sometimes. I've shared things that are personal, spilled raw feelings and thoughts, along with so many other remarks that would probably make me want to shove my feet in my mouth if I were to re-read some of my older pieces.

Thinking back, I don’t know how I went a good 3 or 4 years of my life never really questioning this standard of a format. But I guess somehow, my brain knew far earlier than I ever did, that it was all too unnecessary - which resulted in me leaving this space high and dry, for weeks and months at a time.

Maybe it’s my nostalgic side kicking in, but I really miss the journal aspect of having something called a blog. So I’m trying out this new thing I thought up to keep myself a little more sane.

For the months coming, rather than putting myself through these “shoots” and hours after spent sorting and filtering a million photos to share a generic ‘post’ about my outfit that you’ve already probably seen three other times on Instagram-- I want to recap the things I wear on a monthly basis to give you an idea of how I mix and match the pieces in my rotating wardrobe. Not only will this be a great way of documenting my outfits to review but I hope that it will serve as a testament to my core belief of investing in pieces that have longevity in your wardrobe.

And maybe on the nights that I can't seem to fall asleep - I'll jot down the thoughts that are keeping me awake here too.

Coat: Mute by JL
Beige Leather Jacket: Oak + Fort
Sweater: Tularosa / Revolve
Pants: GRLFRND Denim / FWRD
Shoes: See By Chloe
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini

Photos by Shun S.

Outfit

January 1, 2018

After years of procrastinating on investing in a real coat - I finally pulled the trigger on a coat worth a whole vacation while simultaneously telling myself that I'll be better about my finances *this year*.

I have to admit though - it felt quite satisfying when I was able to wear this coat just over a shirt out in New York City when the temperature was below 8 degrees F. My poor boyfriend, on the other hand, was shivering in 2 layers of pants and 3 layers of knits plus his overcoat.

Oversized Coat: Maison Margiela / Farfetch
Top: Tibi
Pants: AGOLDE Denim
Shoes: M. Gemi
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini

Photo by Shun S.

Outfit

January 8, 2018

Adulting is quite depressing - but exciting at the same time. Because you and your friends never get to see each other anymore because of work, you decide to meet up for brunch on the coldest day of the year, also hailed as the day of the 'Bomb Cyclone.'

I have no idea what prompted me to not wear pants, but I definitely did alarm a few people who cared enough to call me out via social media about it. To be fair, the MTA in New York is always a headache, and I opted for a car service --so, I barely had any exposure to the air aside from taking these photos.

Speaking of dire weather and dreadful snowstorms, this is the first year where I've also owned proper snow boots so, it's only right that I wear them as much as possible throughout this month.

Jacket: Alpha Industries
Sweater Dress: Asos
Tights: Urban Outfitters
Shoes: See By Chloe
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11 Mini

Photo by Christina L.

Outfit

January 12, 2018

On the way home from work today, I stumbled across this lovely little magazine store. In New York, there are several of these - but none as cozy as this one. I poked my head in to take a quick look and chatted a bit with the shop owner. I asked if he minds if I took a photo, and to my surprise, he didn't.

I told myself I'd be more independently creative this year, and so it was the perfect timing to capture a quick self-portrait. It's a bit rusty, but I'll get back in the hang of it soon.

Yellow Suede Moto: H&M
Turtleneck: Zara
Pants: GRLFRND Denim
Shoes: Common Projects
Bag: Celine

Self-portraits

Outfit

January 14, 2018

I captioned this one: "Breaking in this Margiela by sweeping some sidewalk dirt."

And it was exactly that. I've always been a sucker for satirical writings, and any juxtaposing forms of expression of art. As someone who's quite invested in sustainable and ethical efforts in the fashion industry - high-low to me was less so of mixing Forever21 and Celine, but more so of Maison Margiela wiping dirty streets and subway seats.

If you’ve been following me for awhile, you’ll know my slight obsession for the lesser appreciated scenes in New York City — such as scaffoldings, trash-filled corners, and grungy streets. Maybe it’s because I was raised in the Bronx, that fancy high-rise buildings with polished windows just don’t feel like what represents home for me. If I ever get the chance, I’ll show you what the bodegas and laundromats in my borough look like this year.

Oversized Coat: Maison Margiela / Farfetch
Cropped Sweater: Topshop
Pants: J Brand Jeans
Shoes: Common Projects
Bag: Loewe Puzzle Bag

Photo by Minnie K.

Travel

January 28, 2018
Rhinebeck, New York

When December hits in all the previous years, I always think back and somehow feel like so many weekends are wasted. I always tried to rationalize my time and budget on bigger trips - but I end up always feeling like I've wasted a lot of time in between too. This year, one of my biggest goals is to go on a trip at least once every month; even if it's just a short trip upstate.

Luckily for me, I have someone in my life who shares this exact goal - and so you'll be seeing a lot of Christina for the next few months or so.

To close off what feels like a neverending January, Christina and I spontaneously decided that we were going to head upstate for some R&R time as well as ice skating. We came across this beautiful architectural Airbnb and once we booked it, we knew that it was going to be an amazing weekend.

To be quite honest, I was really worried about getting on the ice again, since it's been 3 years from the last time I tightly laced up these ice skates to my ankle. Nevertheless, it was like not riding a bike for a while, and discovering you haven't forgotten how to balance. 2 hours gliding around brought Christina and I lots of laughs, and thankfully no rough falls.

It was incredible to skate at the Mohonk's Mountain House Pavillion as the rink's open view was a frozen lake. I don't remember the last time I cheesed this much in any of my photos.

Sweater: United Arrows JP
Pants: GRLFRND Denim / FWRD
Shoes: Paragon Sports Ice Skates

Photo by Christina L.

Life away from the city always seems so ideal. We took the next morning quite slowly, sleeping without an alarm clock (honestly, if this isn't luxury, then I have no idea what is anymore) and somehow ended up at a cute cafe called Bread Alone for breakfast before 10 am. It was indeed one of the easiest Sundays I've had in a long time that wasn't me laying in my bed refusing to look at my phone to see all the missed texts or gatherings that I'm missing out on.

Two days sure sounds short when it's a combined seven letter words but for us, it was all we needed to recharge for all the adventures to come.

Shirt: Tibi
Turtleneck: Tularosa
Pants: AGOLDE Denim
Earrings: Faeber Studio 'Qui Hoops' / Tictail

Photo by Christina L.

Brand

Faeber Studio

This month, I also discovered a new jewelry brand called Faeber Studio through a quick meeting with the lovely people at Tictail Market. I was immediately drawn to these unique hoops, as I've been already on the hunt for a pair of gold ones lately. After learning more about the designers and how these are digitally modeled and then handmade in New York, made them even more special to me.

Not a bad start to 2018. See ya soon Feb.

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Work Hard

With all of these layers going on, you'd think I was working really hard to get all these things to seem like they belong together.

I’ve always struggle with the phrase “work hard.” It’s one that’s tossed around ever so casually and effortlessly that sometimes I wonder what’s so hard about working hard. Ironically, it's a loaded phrase that gives me quite the pressure.

As much as I’d love to say I’m a hard worker, it’s rarely that I ever feel I’m working hard enough.

So what exactly validates “hard work”?

Personally, I think it’s funny that while “work hard” is a generic way to comfort and motivate yourself and others, I find that “grind” and “hustle” are also terms associated to this.

Maybe the fact that I’m surrounded by so many people who are so hard working without ever needing to announce that they’re working hard that I’m jaded to the idea of ever needing to emphasize it.

In a sense, the phrase “work hard” is like a pair of training wheels. It isn’t what’s enabling you to ride a bike, but more so the catalyst.

So that brings me to my next question: why the need to constantly attach ourselves and the perceptions of others on us to the idea of working hard?

Not shooting anyone off their high horse but more so trying to make sense of my own realities. I’ll be the first to admit that I often feel rather lacking when it comes to my goals' timeline.

I know riding a bike came naturally to a lot of people, but it didn’t for me. I wasn’t lucky enough to have training wheels when I was trying to learn at 10 but I did have a lot of walls in my apartment complex, which I held on to find my own balance. Those walls were my symbolism of working hard. Every time I get on a bike now, I always get scared I’ve forgotten how to, but somehow, I always manage to make it move without relying on those walls.

A lot of us tends to think of “hard work” as something static, but it’s more than that. I haven't really figured out what "work hard" actually means - so if you'd like to contribute your take on it, I'd love to hear. For now, I find that it’s ok that you’re not necessarily working hard every day. It’s ok that working is just working some day. There are no golden star stickers or brownie points for those who claims to work hard every day. Working hard shouldn’t be a characteristic trend, it should be something we all need to work at for ourselves.

Let’s not confuse wanting to work hard as a notion that we’re working hard. It’s a good first step, but it isn’t the actual routine. It's a fair distinction because if the line between wanting to work hard is blurred between hard working--we'll never be able to actually achieve a great work ethic.

Coat: Topshop
Top: Tibi
Pants: Aritzia
Shoes: Acne Studios Jensen
Bag: Celine Belt Bag
Accessories: Oak + Fort Scarf

Photos by Lina D.

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Thoughts In My Pur-suit

I’ve always hated long bios. Something about proclaiming to be certain things, and to fall under categories even when as empowering as multi-slashes can be these days. That’s the irony of millennials, don’t you think? Breaking free from certain labels not to revolutionize but just to succumb back to a state of what originally was, just exactly opposite. The oxymoron of our generation’s logical perception of what’s quality is rather exaggerated and understated all at the same time.

There are two kinds of bios, the type that doesn't say enough, and the ones that say nothing. In a time and age, when the first couple of questions that follow when you meet someone new is, “what do you do” or “where do you work”, you can already tell what type of profile I prefer when I purposely make myself stupid for replying with, “so, what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?”

These days, you can literally be anything you want to be. Just write that shit out and slap that title across all of your social media platforms' profiles and all of a sudden you’ve gained all the qualifications to call yourself whatever-so.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for being confident and self-starting as the next 20-something-year-old. I’d love to call myself a photographer one day, a writer, heck I’d love to be a great cook as well. But, I find that when you have a great passion for something, there’s a certain level of respect for those who are leaders in the industry that you just can’t disregard by shamelessly putting yourself on the same pedestal.

Crowded by a bubble of people who wants to be someone and everyone simultaneously - my irony is, I’d rather be a pursuer.

Typically enough, that’s just as cliche as the next fashion slash photographer slash stylist slash story teller. The reality that I recognize (that I think most people don’t see), is that there is a standard for being qualified that is overlooked when one assumes a certain title for their own. Of course, millennials knows the struggle of what that’s like when interviewing with our seemingly never-good-enough CVs to bosses and corporations that exploit on the idea of super-students. You know, the overachievers that did every extracurriculars and still had straight As. Or even worse, the super-minorities. You know, the really underprivileged that somehow made it.

And if I’m being completely honest, there is no difference between calling myself a singer because I sing (extremely terribly) in the shower than someone with a decent camera and a few thousand followers on Instagram calling themselves a photographer. It’s offensive.

While this sounds like a critical evaluation of my generation of both overqualified and underqualified fellow 20-something-year olds. It's not. See, I feel like this entitlement only exists in places where we are raised to feel like we always need to own something to really have it. The pursuit is no longer about the journey to really emerge and learn and to eventually earn but instead we just take.

With that perception in mind, I just can't help but think that maybe it's not the title that people desire, but rather the idealized recognition of what's associated with occupying a certain job. And you might be thinking, why does that matter, and why am I so frustrated with this. Well, it's because I'm a little bit territorial. It's a part of valuing something so dearly and watch it lose its quality. Kind of like watching a brand you love (Acne Studios) being discredited for so many other great things, and known only for what's arbitrarily insignificant (ahem, pink shopping bags and wool scarves that are bought for the prior mentioned reason). It's interesting, right? To want to be different and to be unique but still, be associated with this sense of perceived 'coolness' that everyone seems to think they are these days.

Scarf: Acne Studios (on sale!)
Dress: Aritzia
Shoes: Sacai (similar, Balenciaga and Isabel Marant)
Jacket: Mango
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11

Photos by Lina D

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Directional

Where you are going and where you are headed are in a way two different type of questions. The direction in which our lives move is, in a sense, unpredictable and uncontrollable. One day we’re king of the world, and the next day we back to the bottom. All we have is this hope in the idea of serendipity that we comfort ourselves with -- that everything happens for a reason, and for the better.

Sometimes in our lives, we find ourselves pushing to go some place, thinking we’re headed somewhere but, that’s the thing with life, our thoughts often don’t guarantee us where we want to be. We just have to make the best of where we are and where we find ourselves, at all times.

Of all the places to shoot in this magical and highly envied city called New York, I don’t know why I always end up in alleys, construction areas, abandoned ATM corners - and now between scaffolding brackets. I guess something about the unfinished and unclaimed places where most people’s eyes get sore, appeal most to me.

So here I am, in my princess pink shoes, climbing these wall brackets in a pair of pants that disgusts my mother and a structured coat that I button to hide these ripped holes from her before I leave the house.

I’m pretty weird this way, and it’s hilarious to think that some people think I take myself seriously.

Coat: Aritzia (similar here and here) previously worn here
Top: Banana Republic
Pants: Zara
Shoes: Miu Miu Pink Velvet Slip On also worn here.
Bag: Proenza Schouler PS11

Photos by Shun S.

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